Wednesday 14 July 2010

Building Rapport

What dose rapport mean? With my entertainers hat on, as a magician it means getting people into the right place, to lead them with the use of suggestion and influence, with the aim of creating entertainment. Leading people to become a part of an unforgettable experience, leading people into a fun and exciting place for a little escapisum and that is what entertainment should be. The reason for gaining rapport with people is to lead them, whether its the purchasing of goods or services or to lead them in the relinquishing of fears and anxieties, toward the gaining of confidence and motivation or indeed for any other purpose.

In my work I start by assuming that I have rapport already and lead. Many of the masters of influence and rapport will also assume they are leading and generally people will follow. Sheer personal power and charisma are enough to put you in the leading position and the more we continue to develop our charisma the more we become likeable and influential and the easier we make it for others to gain rapport with us as we lead. There is more, you are also a performer or a speaker, therapist, salesman, consumer or in any kind of situation with people and they are giving you their attention, right? They are listening and ready to follow, so you can influence and lead them to better health, wealth, happiness or any number of other vibrant destinations...

Buying some petrol the other day I walked happily up to the counter and in a confident manner announced/asked: "good morning Graham, and how are you?" to the man I had never met before, displaying as per Sainsbury's directions for all the world to see his most personal of all possessions, his name. Making full use of a person's name will go a long way to creating rapport, taking the time to say hello and enquire after him opened a dialogue, a happy and upbeat dialogue with Graham.

When working as the aforementioned prestidigitator in delightfully exotic and splendid locations I like to introduce myself to the table or group by firstly explaining to them what I'm doing and then by supplying my name. I then proceed to ask the names of all the people on the table; once they have all been supplied I restate my name and the magic begins. The audience are no longer merely passive observers but are now all active participants in the event because; I have entered into a dialogue, a verbal exchange with everybody on the table. They are already doing what I have asked, admittedly I have only asked them to tell me their names and I volunteered my name to them first, nonetheless they have still complied with my request. Next I can ask them to comply with other small requests, like choose a card and they will follow more readily…

We already have rapport with people; it's just a question of deepening it. When on holiday if you meet a person from the same hometown as you, in general most people will instantly feel a connection, (a connection will even be felt when they are merely from the same country as you, if you are holidaying abroad). The differences between you and them, have been minimised by finding some commonality. There are many ways of minimising those differences, as I'm sure you are aware. The use of techniques like:

Matching and mirroring of body language. Matching of predicates, (The words we use) Matching of voice tonality and Rate of speech. The sneaky use of embedded commands. Association etc…

These techniques all have their place. As a performer I have the lovely position of choosing who I work with and from an audience I pick the person with whom I think I will get the best results, based on my observations of them from the outset. With maybe 10 minuets in each groups delightful company it is I find important to establish rapport very quickly.

A table, just as any audience will have its leaders and followers (it is normally foot stools and chairs that follow tables); there will always be loud people on the table just as there will always be quiet, shy people there. If you attempt to gain your maximum rapport with the shy people on the table the louder and more dominant people, wanting some of the attention for themselves, will split the dynamic of the table or group. If however you angle a higher percentage of your attention to the person or people in the group who seem to be dominating the table already and gain rapport with them the others will follow their example much easier (and the example they are to follow is one of respect and indeed in the giving of clear and open sensory input channels to me.) This luxury affords me the opportunity to be aware of my influence on other people who are en-rapport with me and, for a moment in time, lead and entertain them…

…where will you lead and who will follow? Learning N.L.P and hypnosis I find will inspire you to become more interested in the whole area of persuasion, influence and the development of yourself and your abilities in every area of your life that you are aware of and indeed new areas you will find as you continue with your adventures on our most resplendent planet, Earth.

Parts of this article have been taken from the book The Art of Suggestion and Influence: Practical Applications for Magicians and Mind Readers, by John Vincent. And can be ordered at www.HowToReadMinds.co.uk

John has assisted Paul McKenna P.h.D and Dr Richard Bandler to teach N.L.P and Hypnosis to thousands of people from all over the world. A professional Magician John has carved a niche as one of the UK's top close-up Magicians and Mind Readers, working for Blue Chip companies, celebrities and on TV. Contact info@john-vincent.co.uk

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